What To Do When Your Head Doesn't Know What Your Heart Feels

By: David Tindall
Tuesday, February 13, 2024

The death of someone we deeply love can send our minds and spirit into conflict. Though our hearts are in mourning, our head seeks to make sense of this jarring new reality.

Rational thought tells us life continues, yet grappling with the loss makes that hard to accept. When your head doesn't know your heart's feelings, it leaves us in contradictions.

What To Do When Your Head Doesn't Know What Your Heart Feels

At Tindall Funeral Home, we have seen clients struggle with processing grief, and it requires aligning our whole self, so:

  • Don't ignore what your mind knows to be real - that the physical presence of your loved one is gone. As much as you may wish to deny this truth, avoiding it only protracts the mourning. Acknowledge the permanence of death, even as your heart rails against it. This integration of mind and spirit is challenging but necessary.
  • Listen to what your heart knows, too - that the bond you shared transcends physical existence. Death cannot sever a relationship rooted deep in memories. Let your heart guide you to sustain connection, purpose, and meaning. Through commemoration and living by their values, your inner light stays lit.
  • Embrace, don't resist, the contradictions - The head understands life moves forward linearly; the heart knows time is just a construct when someone is etched in your essence. Allow seeming opposites to coexist - your loved one is gone, yet still with you; there is sadness, yet gratitude. Contradictions give depth to grief.
  • Be patient with yourself through this turbulent process - There is no perfect way to traverse the maze of mourning. Release expectations and let your head and heart speak in their ways, in their own time. Don't judge your conflicting thoughts and feelings. Growth emerges slowly from the struggle.
  • Consider grief counseling or a bereavement support group - The guidance of those who've navigated loss can help align what feels disconnected. You needn't figure this out alone. Collective wisdom lights the way forward.

Take The Time To Mourn The Loss Of Your Loved One

We must gently put the pieces back together when loss fractures our wholeness. Mourning brings head and heart into seeming opposition until we learn to hold mindful acceptance and enduring love. By honoring this messy process, we integrate the totality of our loss into the completeness of our being.

Our funeral director can help you with additional information regarding- what to do when your head doesn't know what your heart feels. Contact us through this form or call Tindall Funeral Home at (315) 468-5521.

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